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Do you remember “falling in love” when you were a teenager? Every month there was a new beau or girlie to hold your attentions and captivate your heart. And you thought, for a full 30 days, that you and this person would be together forever. But then the drama came, and you broke up—only to have the same feelings for someone else a week later. What an exhausting time. However, now that you are older and wiser, here are a few ways to fall in love without the drama.

Mature a Little Before You Love a Lot

Before you set out to love someone, you need to mature a little. Or a lot. Your teenage self wasn’t mentally equipped to handle the dealings of an actual working relationship, but it felt nice to hold hands, schmooze, and be together for a while. When you mature, you lean more towards comforts and reliable relationships instead of instant gratifications and temporary good feelings. If it helps, find the meaning to love in basic chemical response, which is often explained in handbooks or classes to psychiatry in neuroscience.

Don’t Lose Sights of Yourself and Who You Are

As an adult in a love-love relationship, it feels nice to be important to someone and feel the same in return. However, never lose sight of yourself and who you are, or who you were before the relationship. You are still you, amazing hobbies and all, in a relationship as you were out of one. Incorporate that person into your life without disrupting the things you love to do.

Ditch the Jealousy

Jealousy in all its ugly glory is a very immature concept in relationships. If someone wants to be with you, they will be. If they don’t want to be with you, they won’t be. It’s simple, and no amount of jealousy in any form will change that. So kick your relationship fears to the curb and take a chance on someone, but leave your jealous tendencies at the door.

Be Realistic in Your Expectations of Each Other

Sure, when you were young and in love, you wanted to spend every waking moment together. But comfortable love would rather catch up with each other later for a cuddle and a good movie. Instead of expecting the moon from your partner, be realistic and lay out boundaries for your relationship. If your weekends are reserved specifically for you, then let them know from the beginning of a relationship. And be understanding when they set similar boundaries to keep their “them” time.

Love is many things and it can be wholesome, amazing, and good. But real relationships, especially in-love relationships, require work, dedication, and boundaries. If you want to leave the drama out of your next partnership, take some advice from the tidbits mentioned above.